By Megha Lakha and Maxine Smith
Last week, during one of the upper school’s most impactful community times to date, Angela O’Kelley, Armando Roche, and Mary Margaret Neil shared their stories about the dangers of drug experimentation in the fentanyl era. Many students were deeply moved by the information and perspectives that the trio had to offer, so The OnLion decided to send out a survey after the assembly.
Out of the 85 students who responded to the survey, 53 students said it resonated very deeply with them. Many students noted that when Ms. O’Kelley held up her son’s ashes, it put the impact of fentanyl into perspective. Students also said how Mr. Roche’s presentation showed how unpredictable the incorporation of fentanyl in any drug could be; many noted how it was shocking that it only takes an amount the size of a grain of rice to be fatal.
After learning some key facts and statistics about the Fentanyl crisis, upper school students heard an emotional story from Ms. O’Kelley about the death of her son, Jack.. She told us that he was a straight-A student, a freshman at the University of Georgia, loved by many, and full of life. She then held up his ashes and said, “This is all I have left of him.” The room went quiet.
We spoke to Ms. O’Kelley two days after the assembly on the phone. We wondered how difficult it was for her to give this talk so often.
As painful as it clearly was for her, she told us that speaking to young people “[is] something that I know I need to do. And I really feel like Jack is pushing me to do this. He is not here, but I very much feel him kind of guiding this and saying, we’ve got to get out here and save lives and educate these kids and stop kids from doing this just to prevent just the tragedy and the heartache.”
Ms. O’Kelley explained during the assembly how her son took a Xanax, that was unknowingly laced with fentanyl and that he purchased from an unauthorized seller, The next morning, on Thanksgiving (his favorite holiday), the family found him unresponsive. Many students said on the survey how they realized it could be any of their family members after Ms. O’Kelley talked about Jack’s siblings’ heartache.
To prevent other families from experiencing a tragedy such as this, the O’Kelleys started the Jack O’Kelley Foundation last year. Ms. O’Kelley told us that “[she] had been talking and sharing Jack’s story with schools.” Some of their friends suggested that they “start a foundation to raise money to take this message nationally and travel to different colleges and schools.”
The O’Kelley Foundation’s “mission statement is to educate really students, high school, and college students about the dangers of fentanyl and raise awareness of drugs and what they can potentially do to families and to kids,” according to Ms. O’Kelley.
Ms. O’Kelly has spoken to over 10,000 people this year alone and hopes she is making a strong impact. The data from our students shows that she truly made one here on the riverbank.
Aside from speaking at local high schools and churches, Ms. O’Kelley also has spoken to students at the University of Georgia and Auburn University. She also “just got a call the other day from a lady who has a foundation in Scottsdale, Arizona called Mothers Grace, and they help families and mothers who’ve lost children.” She said that the lady called and asked her “to come out and talk to about 400 moms, and they said we’ll fly you out here. So I’m going to go do that in April.”
In traveling the country and talking to so many diverse groups, Ms. O’Kelley has created connections with students. One in particular is a student at Auburn. “After our talk in Auburn, one of the students came up to us, actually to my husband, and said that he had a drug problem and that he needed help,” Ms. O’Kelley said. Her husband, Jack’s dad, looked into getting him help. The student is now doing much better.
For Ms. O’Kelley to share such a tragic story is very challenging, and every time she speaks about it to people, she is forced to relive what she experienced when Jack died. But she has found talking about it actually helps her. “It kind of forces me to deal with that grief. And I have to feel it to heal it. And so it’s part of that grieving process,” she said. adding, “It’s really easy to get caught up day-to-day, staying busy and not really grieving. But for me, really going there and getting emotional and feeling those feelings and letting them flow through and release it creates more space to bring joy into my life as well.”
Ms. O’Kelley has “gotten calls from several moms that have experienced this and lost their children, and they can’t function. They just can’t even get out of bed.” She said while she understands that everyone is wired differently, her way of battling the grief is “turning [her] pain into purpose.”
The information presented by the O’Kelley Foundation has evolved over time. She said she has spoken alongside other DEA agents like Mr. Roche. She said she always started by giving some facts about the Fentanyl crisis and then going on to share Jack’s story.
“You can sit there and listen to facts and watch videos all day, but if you don’t have kind of story that you can relate to, I mean, I think everybody can relate to having a brother or sister or a close friend, and especially here in Atlanta since Jack’s from Atlanta,” she said.
She also told us that they have added Mary Margaret Neil, who is on the board of the foundation. “I actually met her, I didn’t know her. She came to me after Jack died before I even started speaking and said, I just want you to know you’ve already saved a life.”
Ms. Neil said her son came to her after Jack died and said that he needed help and that he didn’t want to possibly die from taking drugs. Ms. O’Kelley was in awe and said, “That’s really unbelievable that Jack has already saved a life.”
This new connection between Ms. Neil and Ms. O’Kelley led to Mary Margaret Neil joining their talks at the end. “It just kind of rounds it out and addresses the mental health component to this and sharing her story about her son,” Ms. O’Kelley said. “Kids are under so much pressure and anxiety these days, so her story helped us make a greater impact.”
Jack’s story took off after a friend of Ms. O’Kelley’s, who is in the Sandy Springs City Council, asked her to share his story. I wasn’t really thinking about it. It was so soon after Jack died that when something this traumatic and major happens in your life for a few months, you’re just kind, it’s so surreal,” she said. “I mean, it’s still so surreal now.”
But once she shared her story, she had moms coming up to her afterward and saying, “Gosh, could you share that story at my son’s school? Or would you be open to coming and speaking to these moms about Jack’s story? And that’s how that took off.” .”
During the assembly, Ms. O’Kelley and Ms. Neil talked a lot about Narcan and the importance of having it around and kept at your house. There was no Narcan at the house where Jack died, nor did the family know about it.
While the majority of Lovett’s students who took the survey said they are likely to have Narcan “readily available,” about a quarter said they were unlikely to. Ms. O’Kelly hopes to spread awareness of Narcan and its importance to see that more people are aware of the dangers of Fentanyl and the importance of keeping Narcan on hand.
Ms. O’Kelly said that she wants to see conversations on this topic continue. She wants young people to look out for each other, “especially when you go off to college as you’re going to be exposed to all kinds of things and drugs and having that knowledge and information and getting Narcan.”
Ultimately, the message keeps coming back to the fact that “Jack could have been any of the kids at school. He lived right around the corner, football player, straight A’s, and all that good stuff.” She said that sharing his story “brings it home more.”
We wondered how close to home this topic was for some students here. In our survey, we asked students whether they have someone in their lives they’re worried might make or is already making potentially harmful decisions. Thirty percent said they did.
We spoke to Ms. Stadler, the upper school counselor who introduced the speakers, and she wants the student body to know that “the whole reason we had the assembly is to empower students to not only help themselves but help each other.” Furthermore, “If you’re worried for whatever reason about yourself or a friend of yours, be brave like Angela or Mike- they are warrior parents.”
Mr. Boswell has a similar message: “If you or someone you know is making potentially dangerous choices, please talk to a school counselor or other trusted adult about how to help.”
According to Ms. O’Kelley, the point of the O’Kelley Foundation is to educate. They hope “to educate through the facts that the DEA agent gives and share and Jack’s story to have something relatable.” We want to remind students “that it really could have been your brother or sister, your best friend, your neighbor.”
Kids need to know that today there is no more experimenting or doing something one time just for fun. Ms. O’Kelley told us, “You’re just playing roulette. You just can’t know now.”
The foundation has received lots of positive feedback from students, parents, and teachers. Ms. O’Kelley reflected and said, “This isn’t about me; this is bigger than me. This feels like a God thing getting out there to try to save lives.”
