By Mylee Dubin and Taylor Johnson
For this section of Taylor and Mylee’s food reviews, we voyaged to the Golden Arches (McDonald’s) to see everything we could acquire from the menu for under $20.
We were majorly excited to try the Grinch Happy Meal that was released this Christmas season. When we got to McDonald’s, I asked the worker at the counter if they had the Grinch Happy Meal because we did not see it on the menu screen. “Um, what is that?” said the worker. I had a crash out, but it was going to be ok if we worked around it.
We started to go crazy on the menu screen. One of the main reasons I love McDonald’s is because of the screen menu orders that are available. This gives me time to ponder my order and not get frantic.
Mylee and I viewed a Manifest Destiny sign on the big screen. “The McRib is back in stock for the Christmas season,” it read. We quickly added the McRib to our cart. We were both very scared because from TikTok we had heard that the McRib is a recipe for disaster.
Then I tried to order myself some water. “Water cup is out of stock,” read the menu screen. I genuinely fell to the floor out of extreme thirst for water. I was majorly upset. Thankfully they had bottled water, but this added an extra expense to our $20 budget. I thought we lived in America and water was free.
Then Mylee added a Coke to the order. We also added a McChicken (my favorite menu item from McDonald’s), two medium fries, and a four-count of chicken nuggets. We can’t forget the immense orders of ranch I put in for our food.
Mylee and I were satisfied with our order and sat down at a booth. We set up my phone and started recording ourselves talking. A family was sitting behind us with a mom and two sons. The mother quickly started judging us due to our immense outbursts. I am sorry ma’am we are at the Golden Arches. Did she want me to sit quietly and wait for my food? That was just not going to occur.
All of a sudden life became beautiful. I saw our food approaching our table. My mouth was watering and I was giggling and kicking my legs in the air at the sight of our food. Mylee had to go fill up her Coke at the soda machine while I gulped down my water and inhaled a handful of fries. “Mcdonald’s fries are better than any other fast food restaurant,” said Mylee as she came back to the booth with her Coke filled to the brim. It was time to dig into our $20 meal.
The first item we busted open was the McRib. We were both saying prayers that we did not die after trying the McRib. The meat was drowning in barbeque sauce on a patty with some pickles. I am a pickle fiend, so it took every bone in my body to not steal all the pickles from the McRib.
We split the McRib in half with our hands (helps that there are no actual ribs in the McRib) since this location of McDonalds did not have knives or forks. It was the moment of truth. We said cheers and counted down:
3…2…1… we dove into the creation. “Hold on a second this isn’t that bad,” said Mylee. I quickly agreed. The McRib honestly was gas, but if you had too much it got dangerous. We could only take two bites before our stomachs started to explode. I rated the McRib a 4/10 and so did Mylee. The barbecue sauce was superb. I even dipped some of my fries in the barbeque sauce. It was a masterpiece.
Next up were the chicken nuggets we had purchased.
Now, Taylor and I are certainly no strangers to the iconic McNugget, but still, we had to review the quality of this item since we now had beef (figuratively) with this Micky-D’s location.
Are these nuggets real chicken? Real meat even? Who knows? And frankly, who cares when they taste as good as they do? We indulged.
You already know we had to dip our nuggets in that good ole’ ranch, which by the way, was MUCH better than the atrocity we experienced at Whataburger on our last outing. This ranch is by far superior to the others we have had in recent weeks.
“Cheers, cheers, cheers,” Taylor and I clinked nuggets and took a bite. Our faces showed the feelings that our mouths could not convey. Finally, Taylor managed to say, “It’s yummy.” It was indeed yummy. The crust was cooked to perfection, not too soft, not too crunchy. “It’s even a little zesty,” I mentioned.
Though it was delectable, Taylor and I could not deny we prefer a Chick-fil-A nugget to the McDonald’s one, but it still holds a place in our hearts.
We continued to indulge in our fries as we reminisced on the Big Mac McChicken that was only available for a limited time. We wished we had been there to review it then.
This conversation had us then wishing we could travel the world to review all of the McDonald’s in other countries, considering they have an abundance of items that we Americans are not lucky enough to savor. I began to have an outburst as I remembered the pizza pockets they had in the German McDonald’s. I almost shed a tear thinking about it.
Perchance stay tuned for Food Reviews with Mylee and Taylor: Travel Edition? We wish, but I fear neither we nor the Lovett OnLion has the budget to send us on such adventures.
As we continued to yap, I could tell the mother sitting behind us was growing more and more agitated. Taylor and I would not apologize though, for we sat down before them, and they chose their fate. I did feel for them however, we can be quite loud.
Finally, we decided we had had quite enough, so we called it a night. We got up to leave and I swear I saw the mother who sat behind us celebrating with her children.
Mylee and I then parted our separate ways, and this is when things started to go downhill for me. I voyaged to Chopt Salads to purchase myself a kale Caesar salad because this is my favorite meal to make me feel healthy after consuming McDonald’s.
I gobbled down my salad from Chopt and was feeling better about the obese meal I had just consumed. All of a sudden as I was whipping home my stomach started to break in half. I thought this was due to the McRib that I had consumed.
I ran home and yacked in my bathroom and fell to the floor. I could not attend school the next day, but I soon realized that I had gotten food poisoning from the salad that I ate. My mother proceeded to email the school that I had gotten food poisoning from a McRib. I was humiliated.
It turns out Mylee didn’t get sick, so…ironically…it was probably the salad that did me in.
The two days I stayed home from school I started to see the gates to heaven. I thought this was the end. I went through all of this just because I wanted to cleanse my palate and be healthy after a gargantuan meal.
Our excursion to McDonald’s to order as much as we could for under $20 was a big success. People could get their family a whole Thanksgiving meal from McDonald’s for a good price.
Overall, my bank didn’t break, but my stomach, in fact, did.
