By Keya Nijhawan
Red lights, red stop signs, and red flags all mean stop, but sometimes people ignore them. Whether it’s a rolling stop at a literal crossroads or a metaphorical one with someone you know you probably should avoid, sometimes you just look the other way or barrel on through. even though Mickey Mouse explicitly told us all when we were little to stop when we saw a red flag.
According to a survey we conducted, 76.5% of Lovett students have ignored a red flag in a relationship and later faced the consequences, just as one may get a ticket for running a stop sign.
Red flags are those hints that come in many forms, telling us things may not end well if we continue to pursue things. For instance, if someone seems to tell lies continuously, it is a signal that they may also lie to you. Other common red flags students mentioned include disrespecting others, only talking to you at night, having bad hygiene, and laziness.
While some of the cited red flags, like “Being short,” seem more about preference, many reflect a more universal cause for concern. Students pay attention to “how they talk about their friends when they aren’t around,” “how they talk about their exes,” the size of their ego, and whether “they talk to you lots on snap but ignore you in person.”
Many responses are about how people talk about others. Speaking ill about someone when they leave but being sweet to their face shows hypocrisy and deceitfulness. Furthermore, speaking impolitely about an ex could be a red flag because their ex is someone they once cared about, and normally, good people do not speak poorly about those they care about.
Many red flags are related to Snapchat. For example, one student wrote: “Girls on bsf list, if they talk to you lots on snap but ignore you in person, active but delivered.”
As much as students may overlook certain red flags, some things students simply see as absolute deal breakers.
We asked our annual “They’re perfect, but…” questions and a few of them were clearly more divisive. “They’re perfect, but…they drink (a lot of) milk in the cafeteria” led 73.6% of students to say, “Nope. Leave the milk for the lower schoolers.” So milk is an absolute no for most.
Interestingly, some of the scenarios led to pretty balanced responses. Opposing political views? Half said it mattered. Half said it didn’t. A good sign for the lead-up to November.
What if your best friend disapproves of someone? 64.4% said “Whatever. They don’t know everything about everything.” Here we have a classic case: I’m not going to listen to my best friend, but if it doesn’t work out, my best friend will listen to me complain and cry for hours. It might be best for some Lovett students to take guidance from their best friends, as 76.5% of students said they had ignored red flags and later paid the price.
Maybe it’s just madness of love and passion. Perhaps they just “need glasses.”
Ironically, many survey takers have pretty sharp vision when seeing their own red flags. You’d think more of them would be in denial.
Students listed everything from being overly emotionally attached and clingy to being neurotic, to over-analyzing and overcomplicating everything, to wanting to make an ex jealous if it goes south, to being a cheater.
While these responses may not be the most alluring aspects of someone, the willingness to acknowledge their own red-flaggy limitations is applaudable.
On the other hand, you also have to admire the self-confidence of the students who looked within themselves and found no flaws. Like the one who wrote: “I’m perfect, I have none, how dare you.”
