By Mylee Dubin and Taylor Johnson
Recently a Whataburger was built dangerously close to Lovett. This restaurant is new to Atlanta. After our Cane’s review from last semester, we had to run it back and put our (fast) food critic hats back on.
Taylor and I arrived at the bright orange restaurant in the frigid evening. We were both shivering and in need of hot meals.
Neither one of us looked at the menu beforehand, which was probably a mistake because when we entered the facility, we were at a loss for words (which is severely out of character for us) when we saw all of our options. Our order was about to break the bank.
I was distressed upon arriving at Whataburger because I remembered that I snapped my credit card in half. Due to me breaking my credit card my dad canceled the whole entire card. I am currently broke. Thankfully Mylee offered to pay for my meal. She is such a kind soul.
We zoomed to the ordering screen and became overwhelmed. The menu was exploding from wings to cinnamon rolls. We decided we needed to indulge in the original Whataburger. Next, we were trapped in the Whatawing section. We did not know what flavors to order because they all looked delectable. After intense pondering, we got the Buffalo and the Honey Butter Whatawings with ranch and a large fry.
The last thing we had to obtain was a beverage so no choking incidents occurred. Mylee got a chocolate shake, and I got the Dr. Pepper Shake (available for a limited time). Thankfully, Mylee’s card was not declined and our order went through.
We sat in a booth far away from everyone because we did not want to disturb their peaceful meals.
We started yapping about our fall breaks and all a sudden we saw a worker coming towards us with a platter of food. Our bodies rose to Moses out of excitement.
The waiter set down all of our food but was missing our beverages. We had to take away some points from the overall restaurant experience because they forgot our shakes. Very disappointing.
We were faced with immense hunger so we dove into our food without our shakes. This was a dangerous move because I almost choked on the wings.
The first item we tried was the buffalo boneless Whatawings. We dove in for a big bite. The second the wings hit our tongues an explosion occurred. It took everything in us to not spew the wings from our mouths across the restaurant. We opened the ranch in hopes that it would save the wings. But alas the ranch was criminal and it had questionable substances in it. It looked almost yellow.
Taylor and I ultimately decided to give the buffalo wings a generous 7/10. I later took another whiff of the abomination and changed it to a still very generous 6/10.
To save our taste buds from frying off we grabbed some of the fries and gobbled them down. The fries were gas. I told Taylor, “I feel like these are better than McDonald’s fries, I feel like they are cooked more.” We gave the ranch another chance and dipped our fries in it. I almost had to remove myself and take a breath of fresh air outside the restaurant. You best believe we gave those fries a 10/10 rating.
We got very impatient about our shakes and went up to the front of the store. We cut the whole line and waited for the server to notice us. She was very kind and apologized and gave us our shakes. The customer service at Whataburger was pretty solid for a fast food restaurant.
We were parched and feining to try our shakes. We dove in. The Dr. Pepper shake was immaculate. I never knew the combination of ice cream and Dr. Pepper would be revolutionary. We gave it a 10/10. I can’t even lie, it was that good. It was quite hard to get the shakes to come out of the straws because they were extremely thicc. The chocolate shake was also solid. It was not too chocolatey and not too sweet, so we gave it an 8.5/10.
We observed the other people in the restaurant and saw what looked like special treatment from the waiters. One of the waiters was bringing a customer a whole cart of sauces. I was offended that we did not receive the option of having a cart of sauces.
Now it was time to try the honey butter wings. It is safe to say that after the buffalo disaster, I had low expectations. We opened up the container and almost passed away. Taylor immediately yelled, “They are drowning in sauce, they can’t breathe!” I took a looksie and they were indeed fighting for their lives in that honey butter sauce. Taylor took a whiff and her expression looked pained. “Woah, that smells a little bit like doodoo farts,” Taylor said. I got scared and sniffed as well, and let me tell you, food should never smell like that. “That is FOUL,” I said. Rancid, I tell you.
Despite the horrendous odor, Taylor and I had a duty to fulfill (both literally and figuratively). We counted to 3 and took a nibble. There was absolutely no reason for those wings to smell as badly as they did and taste as good as they did at the same time. Unfortunately I just think that they used a particularly stinky honey. We ultimately gave them 8/10, which probably could have been a 9 if it weren’t for the unwavering smell.
A definitive trend that we began to notice amongst our foods was that they were all decent on the first bite, but as we ate more, it progressively became gross.
At some point, we found out that they also served breakfast, but I fear that we will not be making the voyage back as that may be a dangerous start to our morning.
It then came time for the real star of the show: the Whataburger.
It was giant. We made the right decision to split it. The Whataburger had the patty, lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions, and mustard. I grew scared at the bright neon yellow mustard because I am not the biggest fan of mustard. This did not stop me from indulging though.
We took a gigantic bite out of the Whataburger. I can’t even lie, it was pretty good. It was not anything special, just a pretty mid burger. But it redeemed the disappointments with the wings and the ranch. It was refreshing to consume some yummy food after my taste buds suffered harm from the ranch.
Mylee finished her half of the burger but I only could consume a couple of nibbles of mine because I am not the biggest burger eater. We rated the burger a solid 8/10.
We devoured all the fries though. I had to refrain myself from ordering more.
Overall, Whataburger was a major disappointment. It left me feeling ill for multiple days. I had to pop Tums and Advil that night.
Personally, Mylee and I will NOT be returning to the premises of Whataburger but y’all should go try it out for yourselves.
Stay tuned for our next restaurant rating where spoiler alert we are going to have a mukbang on the Krabby Patty Meal from Wendy’s.
