By Maxine Smith
Growing up, I never had to look far to find an example of strength and integrity. My mother, Monica Smith, served in the United States military for 35 years, enlisting at the age of seventeen. While most teenagers were worrying about prom or planning their first year of college, she was already stepping into a world of responsibility. She started college a semester late to attend basic training. That decision set her future.
Over her decades in the military, my mom rose to the rank of colonel, a position earned through grit and a willingness to lead even when it was difficult. She was deployed once to Kuwait for six months, an experience that tested her not only as a soldier but as a mother.
“This was a 6-month deployment to the Middle East, and this presented a hardship for our family,” my mom told me. “I could have fought for a ‘hardship’ case, which would have potentially enabled me not to deploy. I chose not to do this because I think it would be unfair to drive any family regardless of the circumstances.”
Those six months were not easy as my dad had to learn how to take on my mom’s household jobs, making sure the four kids got to school and soccer practice. I remember feeling very upset she was leaving, especially as a seven-year-old starting at a new school that year. Now, I understand what that decision meant and the strength it took her and us to get through it.
Her service took her across the world, specifically to Romania in her last years of service, where she helped train and build their military forces. She focused on mentoring women in uniform, helping them understand their strength and value in a male-dominated field. “I felt that was my most influential work that I did during my position as colonel,” my mom said.
Mentorship was one of the things she cared about most. “I spent a lot of time mentoring the people on my team,” she told me. “I also made a strong push to train everybody.”
She believes that the most power comes from teaching and learning from others, because that is how she rose to become a leader.
But not every moment was smooth. She’s shared difficult stories, ones that show the emotional weight of the job. She once dealt with a man on her team who actively tried to undermine her authority, even though he wasn’t an officer. My mom explained that during a meeting she had with him, “he started crying and told me how sorry he was for trying to break me down and our team. I decided not to formally punish him and instead put other measures in place to ensure he could no longer have a negative impact on our ability to fulfill our mission requirements.”
Even now, she thinks about that moment. “Sometimes I wonder if I let him off too easy because he was causing my family and me a lot of stress because of what he was doing to me,” she admitted. “This person was not even an officer, which made the situation all the more disrespectful and maddening.”
Her dedication didn’t go unnoticed. During her time as a Lieutenant Colonel at Dobbins Air Force Base, her commander recognized her work ethic: “My boss, while I was a Lieutenant Colonel at Dobbins Air Force Base, knew that I was a hard worker and was a good fit for this position in Alabama.”
From my perspective, growing up with a mom in the military shaped my understanding of leadership, and it meant a great deal to see her photograph displayed at the entry to the upper school, alongside others who served, on Veterans Day.
